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Author Topic: Recall Notice  (Read 2329 times)

ZuperDave

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Recall Notice
« on: April 16, 2006, 09:56:45 PM »

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.............

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed, "Substantial Internal Non-morality, or commonly known as S. I. N., as it is primarily expressed but not limited to the following:

1. Loss of direction

2. Foul vocal emissions

3. Amnesia of origin

4. Lack of peace and joy

5. Selfish, or violent behavior

6. Depression or confusion in the mental component

7. Fearfulness

8. Idolatry

9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service, free of charge, to correct this "SIN" defect. The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair technician, JESUS, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, JESUS will replace it with:

1. Love

2. Joy

3. Peace

4. Patience

5. Kindness

6. Goodness

7. Faithfulness

8. Gentleness

9. Self control

Please see the operating manual: the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human-being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result! in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!

GOD

** P. S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice.
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white wolf

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Re: Recall Notice
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2006, 06:33:39 AM »

 :applause:
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Rock Hopper

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Re: Recall Notice
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2006, 06:55:38 AM »

I knew there was some manufactures defect with Tom, but now you have confirmed it.   :laughing:

I have found that a quick dunk in water also helps with this S.I.N. problem.  Got mine yesterday.



God's Best
 :lamer:
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John-n-Kim

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Re: Recall Notice
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2006, 07:33:08 PM »

I'm so happy God continues to "fix" me.  It kinda makes you want to  :dancin:
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Ironman

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Re: Recall Notice
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2006, 03:50:16 AM »

 :thumbup: :applause:
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'97 Jeep TJ stretched 4", 4.0, SM465, NP 231 w/4:1, HP Dana 60 w/5.38's and ARB in rear, HP Dana 44 w/5.38's, ARB and high steer in front. 5.5 RE long arm kit with 14" King coilovers front and rear, rollin' on 37" MTR's w/17" Allied Rockathon Beadlocks...The bigger the tire, the smaller the rocks.